May 2016
grudge
Noun grəj/
: a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury
Grudges impact you negatively — physically, emotionally, spiritually.
Joseph Neumann PhD, who has researched the relationship between grudge-holding and heart disease, reports, “When I treat patients with heart disease, I am struck by how many are bitter, angry, resentful and depressed.” He went on to say, “Holding onto grudges and resentment affects their health and their ability to heal.”
Grudge-Holding Impacts Stress Levels:
- Bitterness – Loneliness – Anger – Depression – Anxiety
- Tough to enjoy new experiences
- Decreased self-esteem
- Feeling misunderstood
- Negativity that takes up a lot of room
- Consumed with revenge and punishment
- Difficult to build new relationships
- Perpetual energy drain to hold onto “I’ll never let this go”
forgive
Verb for-give
: to stop feeling anger toward someone who has done wrong
: to stop blaming
Here’s the truth about holding a grudge – it hurts you – not the other person.
Resentment is like swallowing
poison and waiting for
the other person to die.
Forgiveness is a process – it’s not an on-off switch.
- Acknowledge that you hold a grudge and set an agreement with yourself that you want to begin the process of letting it go
- Reflect upon the benefits of forgiveness for you (not the other person). Do I want that person to have so much power in my life today? What would it would feel like to not have that rock of hardness in my heart?
- Connect to a spirit of forgiveness and acceptance through:
- Books: Two of my favorite authors are Dr. Wayne Dyer “Living An Inspired Life” and Catholic author, Father Jacques Philippe “Interior Freedom”.
- Prayer: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.”
- Visualization: Feel the anger and resentment in your body. Now, picture yourself in a beautiful setting in nature (on top of a mountain – by the ocean – in a sunny meadow). In that place of beauty, breathe in kindness and forgiveness. Breathe out anger, resentment, vindictiveness and hurt. You can ask God or angels or a divine light to help you release the negativity and take in a refreshed, forgiving spirit.
Very often we feel restricted in our situation, our family, or our surroundings. But maybe the real problem lies elsewhere…in our hearts.
Fr. Jacques Phillippe, Catholic Author – “Interior Freedom”